March 25, 2005

The Electric Guitar: An Instrument Of Chaos

If, as just about everybody seems to know these days, the simple flap of a butterfly's wings in the rain forest of Brazil can ultimately be responsible for a tornado in Texas, you can't help wondering what havoc might eventually result from some madly over-enthusiastic electric guitarist at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City frantically thrashing his plectrum across the strings of a Gibson Les Paul when it's plugged into a Marshall 200-watt stack that's been cranked up to pain-inducing volume.

Or, to put it another way, once a guitarist has plugged his axe into a vast, anarchic configuration of pedals, shifters, signal processors, distortion boxes, echoplexes and the rest, he can all too easily find himself playing a note and having absolutely no idea what's going to be coming out at the other end. This is even more true should he decide to employ some "stagecraft" or "extended technique" and rub his guitar up and down the mic stand, or smash his guitar to smithereens on the speaker cabinets, or, just to take a for instance, set fire to the damn thing.

There seems to be something interesting going on here, some interesting parallels. What we're talking about is chaos theory; a profoundly new hip science, the significance of which is pretty much taken for granted in such diverse fields as mathematics, astronomy, particle physics, economics, even architecture and urban planning; yet its consequences for rock and roll guitar playing have so far remained largely unacknowledged. It's time to put that right.

And if by chance you think I’m just desperately trying to yoke together two quite unrelated disciplines, you should bear this in mind: if you asked a scholar of chaotics what it is he actually does all day, he would most likely tell you that he "observes the unstable aperiodic behavior that can be found in mathematically simple systems". Okay, well, surely mathematical systems don’t get much simpler than your basic rock and roll, and very few people on earth display more unstable aperiodic behavior than lead guitarists. Consider the life and works of Jeff Beck: declining to play at Woodstock, only having Rod Stewart sing on the B-side of his greatest hit, taking on the rhythm section of Vanilla Fudge as his band. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

Moreover, what chaos theory does is link together the random and the ordered. It shows how a system that obeys fundamental laws can still be capable of disorder and complexity. There are those, of course, who think guitar playing should not be complex at all, that it should always remain simple and stick to the basics. (These people are generally not fans of Frank Zappa or Steve Vai.) But we’re talking about complexity of a slightly more specialized variety. This kind of complexity is defined as the study of "life at the edge of chaos", where systems are suspended between stability and total dissolution; which is as good a description of a Sonic Youth gig as I’ve ever come across.

What leads to complexity in systems (and here’s a term that even the most unscientific rocker will understand) is feedback. Whereas the old science would have said you only get out what you put in, chaotics tells us that the opposite is sometimes true too. What you’re getting out sometimes has a profound effect on what you put in. When some wall of horrible, squalling feedback starts coming out of the amps, getting hideously loud and out of control and making your ears feel as though they’re bleeding, this has a really profound non-linear effect on what the guitarist plays next. Sometimes it may even make him turn down the volume, although equally, guitarists being what they are, it’s just as likely to make him turn it up.

One distinguishing feature that scientists observe in chaotic systems is their "sensitive dependence on initial conditions". This means that very slight differences at the beginning of apparently similar systems will later result in enormous divergence as these systems develop independently. For instance, two guitarists may both start out playing a perfectly simple rock classic, say "Louie Louie". Initially both renditions will inevitably sound fairly similar, since there are only so many ways anybody can play that very basic song. However, after an hour or two of jamming, as the two guitarists start to get bored, to improvise or "express themselves", one guitarist’s version may have perhaps mutated into a kick-ass rendition of "Wild Thing", while the other could be playing Glenn Branca’s "Symphony Number 5". This, in a sense, is what the Grateful Dead based their whole career on.

Certain listeners to rock music, of course, just find guitar solos boring and repetitive, but chaos theory has some consolation for these people too. They can take comfort in knowing that what they’re observing in the solo is a kind of "self-similarity", and that this is precisely what we find in fractals, and everybody knows that fractals are totally cool.

Self-similarity is the way in which any subsystem of a fractal is structurally identical to the whole system. Blood vessels, for instance, can be thought of as fractals since they start out large but then divide into ever smaller and smaller capillaries, but all performing the same function. Within the overall shape, however elaborate, there lies a constant, predictable, repetitive pattern. This is note precisely the same thing as playing a single note over and over again on your guitar, but it’s probably near enough for the layman.

Students of chaos theory also speak fondly of "attractors", or even "strange attractors". Attractors are the states to which a complex system will finally settle. The pinball may bounce all over the table, rack up any number of points and replays, but sooner or later it’s eventually going to fall down the hole. In the same way, a guitarist, any guitarist, however "tasteful" or "restrained" or even "avant-garde" will eventually end his solo by playing lots and lots of notes as fast as he possibly can down by the sixteenth fret and then finish on a power chord. Yes, it may seem a little predictable but the fans seem to like it, and, let’s face it, you can’t fight the inevitable.

Strange attractors are a little different. In chaos theory they’re multi-dimensional objects existing in infinite space. Rock guitarists, however, are more likely to be strangely attracted to drugs, groupies, and the delights of commissioning an absurdly elaborate customized instrument lacquered with candy flake and inlaid with the bones of endangered species.

However, as the Russian researchers Boris Chirikov and Felix Izrailve have pointed out, there’s something rather paradoxical about strange attractors in that they only look strange to those outside the system. Once you’re part of the chaos they’re pretty much what you’d expect. So, for instance, nobody should be entirely surprised that Keith Richards is an avid book collector, that Eric Clapton dated Sheryl Crow, that Eddie Van Halen plays golf. What the heck, it’s rock and roll. Deal with it. You can’t fight the inevitable.

And inevitability may just be another name for entropy. Now, the Second Law of Thermodynamics places time in a central position in the universe. It sees the universe as a machine that’s running down, towards a state of maximum disorganization, and time, therefore, becomes an arrow that can only point one way. Complexity, however, suggests that the Second Law isn’t the whole story. Complexity suggests that not all systems move toward entropy and disorder, and this raises certain questions about the direction of time’s arrow. This may explain why Dick Dale can still have a career playing surf guitar, but only so long as his music appears in a film by Quentin Tarantino. Similarly Jimmy Page can have a top ten hit, but only when he’s been sampled by P. Diddy.

And finally we come to turbulence. Now, a lot of people may think of all rock music as inherently turbulent, but if so they’re being a little unscientific. Turbulence is defined as "a mess of disorder at all scales". It’s unstable; it dissipates energy and creates drag. You can see it anytime you turn on a faucet. If the flow is relatively gentle, the water pulsates a little but forms a regular moving column, which demonstrates "periodic motion". But turn the tap wide open, and the motion of the water becomes irregular and chaotic. It is demonstrating turbulence.

I think we’re no longer describing rock music here. What we’re really talking about is the weird and incomprehensible world of "free jazz", a genre in which a bunch of tubby old guys with beards, occasionally guitarists but mostly sax players, all play at once without having rehearsed or decided what key or time signature they’re in. And that’ a musical form that I suspect no scientist or chaos theorist is ever likely to explain to anyone’s satisfaction.

March 20, 2005

Hi! I'm Gregg Shorthand!

It 's comforting to say that 'practice makes perfect'....

You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to enable people to write faster, it is also very useful for writing things which one does not want other people to read, inasmuch as almost no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things efficiently and on time. You also value your privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not pretend to be friends with just everyone; that would be ridiculous. When you do make friends, you take them seriously, and faithfully keep what they confide in you to yourself.

Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is very important, of course) sometimes keeps you away from social activities, and you are often lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand has been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?

March 18, 2005

Cars, computers, and women

Awesome computer! This covers two of my three interests: computers and cars.

The third? Women! In particular, my fiancee', Heidi. Here is our wedding page. She's the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She's caring, loving, beautiful, a great cook, and she accepts me for who I am instead of trying to change me. She has made me a better person in so many ways. I truly love her, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with her.

I've never felt this way about another woman in my entire life. I miss her when she's gone, I never want to be away from her, I love her beyond what I thought was possible.

She is the perfect woman for me.

March 09, 2005

New!

New on the blog: I've got a search box at the bottom of the page, so now it's easier to find something I've said. If anything I've said or posted interests you, you can now search for it, as well as anything else that tickles your fancy, thanks to AdSense, brought to you by the folks at Google.

And the crowd says : Sellout!

No, I haven't sold out... I just find that it's a better way to generate revenue than to ask for your money outright... which I haven't done... and if I haven't asked, then how can I...

Aww, you're all full of shit!

Anyway, look for it, look for my words (other than the ones you're reading), look for your wildest dreams, all in the box at the bottom.


March 07, 2005

Last one tonight... I promise.

I'm opening the blog to contributors.
Feel like writing? Let me know. Leave a comment.

Hmm... interesting...

I found this on the U.T. Austin Language and Literacy Blog:

Something fun if you're bored at work

List of the top 109 banned books of all time. Bold the ones you've read. Italicize the ones you've read part of. Underline the ones you specifically want to read.

1. The Bible (Torah, and New Testament, much of the Nevi'im)
2. Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain*
3. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
4. The Koran
5. Arabian Nights
6. Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain*
7. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
8. Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
9. Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne*
10. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
11. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
12. Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
13. Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
14. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
15. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
16. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
17. Dracula by Bram Stoker
18. Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
19. Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
20. Essays by Michel de Montaigne
21. Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck*
22. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
23. Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
24. Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
25. Ulysses by James Joyce
26. Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
27. Animal Farm by George Orwell
28. Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell*
29. Candide by Voltaire
30. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee*
31. Analects by Confucius
32. Dubliners by James Joyce
33. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck*
34. Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
35. Red and the Black by Stendhal
36. Das Kapital by Karl Marx
37. Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
38. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
39. Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence
40. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
41. Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
42. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
43. Jungle by Upton Sinclair
44. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
45. Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
46. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
47. Diary by Samuel Pepys
48. Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
49. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
50. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury*
51. Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
52. Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
53. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
54. Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus
55. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
56. Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X (or Alex Haley?)
57. Color Purple by Alice Walker*
58. Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
59. Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
60. Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
61. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
62. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
63. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
64. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
65. Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
66. Gargantua and Pantagruel by Francois Rabelais
67. Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
68. The Talmud
69. Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
70. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson*
71. Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
72. American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
73. Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
74. A Separate Peace by John Knowles
75. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
76. The Red Pony by John Steinbeck
77. Popol Vuh
78. Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
79. Satyricon by Petronius
80. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
81. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
82. Black Boy by Richard Wright
83. Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
84. Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
85. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
86. Metaphysics by Aristotle
87. Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
88. Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
89. Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
90. The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
91. Sanctuary by William Faulkner
92. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
93. Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
94. Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
95. Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
96. General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud
97. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
98. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
99. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
100. Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines
101. Emile Jean by Jacques Rousseau
102. Nana by Emile Zola
103. Chocolate War by Robert Cormier*
104. Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
105. Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
106. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
107. Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
108. Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark*
109. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes*

* I had to read these books at various points during my school years.

Vocal blogging

Heidi just called. She was crying, so I asked her what happened. Turns out, a friend of hers, whom she had known since middle school, died this morning in a car accident. He was sideswiped by a truck on his way to work.

We talked for a while, and she told me she called me because I was the only person who could comfort her. So we talked some more, and eventually the conversation turned to us. We talked about what makes us compatible, how alike we are, how different we are... and how much we knew each other. Let's go to the song:

Yes, she's my lady luck
Hey, I'm her wild card man
Together we're buildin' up a real hot hand
We live out in the country
Hey, she's my little queen of the South
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

She wakes me every mornin'
With a smile and a kiss
Her strong country lovin' is hard to resist
She's my easy lovin' woman
I'm her hard-workin' man, no doubt
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

Yea, a pickup truck is her limousine
And her favorite dress is her faded blue jeans
She loves me tender when the goin' gets tough
Somtimes we fight just so we can make up

Lord I need that little woman
Like the crops need the rain
She's my honeycomb and I'm her sugar cane
We really fit together
If you know what I'm talkin' about
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

This time I found a keeper, I made up my mind
Lord the perfect combination is her heart and mine
The sky's the limit, no hill is too steep
We're playin' for fun, but we're playin' for keeps

So draw the curtain, honey
Turn the lights down low
We'll find some country music on the radio
I'm yours and you're mine
Hey, that's what it's all about
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

Lordy, mama, we'll be two of a kind
Workin' on a full house


Yep, that about does it for now. I love you, Heidi.

Banned Music

BannedMusic.org is a peer-to-peer collaboration that makes it impossible for the major record labels to ban or censor musical works.

DownhillBattle.org
is a music activism site working to bring positive change to the music industry. They created and run Banned Music.

Illegal Art is a wonderful exhibit and website that presents artwork which has been legally attacked.

If you'd like to get involved with Downhill Battle's music activism projects, join here.

*****

NB: Downhill Battle ran an ad in response to Pepsi & Apple's famous "I Fought The Law" ad, which featured teenagers who were prosecuted for using filesharing programs to freely give and receive music online. Downhill Battle's ad featured those same teenagers, but with changes to the text and audio, using the Twisted Sister song "We're Not Gonna Take It" in place of Pepsi/Apple's choice, "I Fought The Law (And The Law Won)", by the Bobby Fuller Four.

*****

Creative Commons is a nonprofit organization that offers a flexible copyright for a creative work.
From their website:
"Creative Commons offers a flexible range of protections and freedoms for authors and artists. We have built upon the 'all rights reserved' of traditional copyright to create a voluntary 'some rights reserved' copyright."

*****

I suggest you visit these sites, and find out what the record companies and the RIAA don't tell you.